It is not uncommon to find yourself in the irritating situation of feeling indifferent, jealousy or even disgust, if you see someone else's well-being and success. It is often difficult to rejoice in the happiness of others, despite the love you feel, and this can indicate the presence of an underlying psychological disorder.
As extrapolated the specialized scientific literature, in these cases, the most common problem is depression.
Why is it sometimes difficult to rejoice in the happiness of others?
We may have realized, in the first person or through external comments, that every time a loved one brings good news about his life (a promotion, the wedding of a son or daughter, an award ...) we experience an immediate and irrepressible negative emotion . Sometimes, perhaps, we saw this scenario also drawn in the emotional state of others.
An emotion that can be diluted in a mixture of feelings of rejection, envy, anger, injustice, wanting the evil of others ... Finally, while others expect us to share and make them happy, a visceral and uncontrollable block during the first fractions of a second , prevents us showing a feeling of spontaneous and sincere joy.
It is also likely that this reaction has not always been present in us with greater or lesser intensity. Therefore, it is necessary to stop and think that perhaps there is something within us that prevents us aligning ourselves emotionally with the happiness of others; popular philosophy is wise: how can someone who has not been happy for some time be happy for others?
a broad perspective, this tendency to be reluctant to the emotional well-being of others can be classified as dysfunctional social conduct. It is precisely in depressive experiences that the inclination to react negatively to social interactions is studied, and it is possible to see more clearly; depressive symptoms are often related, however, to poor quality of personal relationships.
A bad mood is often associated with erosion of self-concept. An impoverishment of the ego's view that often affects its closest neighbor as well: self-esteem.
In this sense, we are in the presence of a curious phenomenon. Serious damage to our self-concept makes us more likely to emphasize in others what they have, or believe they do, to a greater extent or consistency. And over-dimensioning your attributes naturally causes a feeling of disgust and a negative attitude in all circumstances and positive qualities that involve remembering and validating them.
On the other hand, tacit hostility, observed in people with typical passive-aggressive personality characteristics, is related to envy; this feeling would mediate between a cracked psycho-affective state and the tendency to value negatively what others have positively.
Isolated envy, however, is not a symptom of a pathology. Richard Smith, a professor at the University of Kentucky and an expert in the study of the phenomenon of envy, stresses that part of our survival is based on envy: we use comparison as a unit of measure of our status and as a driving force for personal improvement.
If becoming aware of the happiness of others produces a very intense malaise or interferes negatively in our life, then, yes, we can talk about a problem. A difficulty that will require a solution, which includes the following strategies.
What to do to rejoice in the happiness of others?
We must prevent negativity taking root and becoming bitter people, unable to develop empathic happiness; life, the happier, the better it is lived. Among the most effective measures to be taken to achieve this paradigmatic change, we find:
• Be grateful for what you have. We must try to focus on everything that makes us feel good and change our mental perspective to stop clinging to what makes us feel bad
• Realize that your value does not come external elements. In other words, we tell what we are, not what we have. Our potential is our greatest wealth and we keep it within us.
• Try to find inspiration, rather than discouragement, in the success of others. The achievements of others can be seen as demonstrating that everyone can succeed and serve as a guide to achieving important goals.
• Understand that there is enough space in the world for everyone's happiness, including ours. If other people are successful, expensive material goods or enviable personal characteristics, this does not prevent us finding ourselves in a similar scenario. The world is big enough to accommodate millions of successful people.
Have confidence in the future to find a happier place for yourself in the world. We are not entirely at the mercy of the dictates of chance; working on ourselves will bear fruit, and we must find comfort and motivation in that thought.
Per that letting negative feelings invade us when the world is doing well with the people we love? We do not waste time looking at others, confronting them and depriving ourselves of value; our happiness and luck are in the final stretch, you just need to know and fight for them.